Maybe I do!

Maybe something IS wrong with me.

Why do I seem so sensitive all the time?

Why do I let it bug me?

Why don't I listen to myself?

Why do I feel something I shouldn't?

Why do I say the wrong things?

Why do I feel guilty?

Weird. hmm. anyways..

********************************

Trying to be in the Christmas spirit..but its hard to be like that at work. Yay. Got a two hour break though. Still a six hour day :/

Whats wrong with me? Why am I complaining? I should be thankful..right? Yeah. I should. I'm ungreatful..huh?

I think its time to stop feeling sorry for myself and living in the past.
WAIT.
You know how hard that is going to be for me?

You know what the past couple of years have been to me? They've been the world. My world. That I probably will never live in again.

The comfort of my best friend is on shakey ground. still there. Its my fault.

The comfort of my home is gone and replaced with boxes and an empty room once lived in by me but never again.

The comfort of my old little small town is taken away by the sight of an old country road with street numbers instead of street names.

The comfort of my cluster of friends on my team is broken up and everyone's moving on..by choice.

The comfort of myself is being replace with a lump in my throat and a weird feeling emotion that's new to me.

The comfort of me knowing what I want and why I want it is gone and I'm utterly confused.

The comfort of my privacy is being replaced with a family that thinks my life is one big book for everyone to read.

Haha. Ok. Wait.

I'm being way dramatic and I know it. But really. I have issues with letting go. And lately? My life as been revolved about letting go.

Whhhhhhhhyy? Hah. I guess thats just something thats not meant to be known or something I have to find out

Maybe I should make changes or plan something fun..or something.....
Welllllll.............

I know I sound like I'm terrible. But I'm not. I just seem like it because I didn't have anything to do and I was just thinking

Friday nights at work are rough when you don't have anybody to talk to...

Well...on the bright side....

I think I'm going shopping next week (hopefuly..) and makin cookies..
tomorrow my buddy's comin over

Well....just gotta keep prayin and hopin and tryin to figure everything out

Everythings OK..right? Yeah I think so

Yepp. Better go work.

Lotsa love,
Marie